“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.” — Jim Carrey

CONTEXT

“Success” is often talked about as external things. Fame. Wealth. A certain title and salary. A certain house. A certain car. A certain family.

The truth? There’s a different definition of “success” for every person — but most don’t spend the time to find out what that is (until it’s too late). If you don’t become aware of what truly matters to you, you’ll chase after society’s definition and be left feeling empty.

Let’s bust 7 of the most common myths we’re all told about success.

THE 7 LIES

1. “Success = having a lot of money.”

There’s no problem with wanting money. You deserve it. 👍

But true success? That comes from within. Personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose.

Money can’t buy that kind of fulfillment.

Morgan Housel wrote a letter to his newborn son for when he’s older. I love this quote from it: “You might think you want an expensive car, a fancy watch, and a huge house. But I’m telling you, you don’t. What you want is respect and admiration from other people, and you think having expensive stuff will bring it. It almost never does – especially from the people you want to respect and admire you.”

2. “You’re not allowed to fail.”

We’re taught as kids that failing is bad, and should be avoided at all costs.

The problem is… the more risks you take, the more likely you are to achieve your dreams! The only real “failure” is not taking any chances at all.

Astro Teller leads one of the most interesting teams at Google. They’re responsible for all of Google’s insane “moonshot” ideas. And he gave this incredible TED Talk called “The unexpected benefit of celebrating failure.” (Definitely worth watching. It’s only 15 mins.)

3. “Your worth = your achievements.”

Nope. You are so much more than your number of followers, your job title, or your salary.

Get a pen and paper, and decide what “success” actually means to you— not what society has told you it is.

Here’s the best exercise for visualizing your dream life. It’s called the “10-year plan” and was one of my most popular LinkedIn posts of 2023.

4. “There is one perfect person for you out there. You just have to find each other.”

I disagree. 

You don’t find a perfect person. You both put in the work to become the right person for each other.

Find someone who is willing to work together on the relationship with you.

Lewis Howes and Matthew Hussey diver deeper in this great podcast episode about how to find lasting love (rather than love at first sight).

5. “Always put others first.”

Ok, this one took me forever to learn (and I still haven’t fully).

Yes, of course it’s important to be kind and considerate of others… but saying yes to everything is the fastest path to burnout.

Fill your own cup before trying to pour into everyone else’s.

Saying ‘no’ isn’t easy. So I wrote these 3 scripts for an “elegant” no. (#2 is my favorite way of declining something kindly.)

6. “You have to be perfect.”

The best advice I got early on was “be interesting— not perfect.”

Why?

Perfection is an unattainable standard. It leads to feelings of inadequacy (and a crippling fear of making any mistakes).

Embrace your quirks. If you just present a smooth surface to others, there are no ‘cracks’ for someone to grip onto and get close to you.

7. “Just wait for the right time.”

There’s never going to be a “perfect time.” 

If you keep waiting for it, you’ll never start. So do it scared.

There’s someone else out there right now living the life you want… simply because they took action.

1 year ago today, I decided to write my first post on LinkedIn. 12 months later, I’ve completely changed the trajectory of my life. (Thank you to everyone who wrote kind comments on this post about my 250,000 milestone on LinkedIn last week.) ❤️

CLOSING THOUGHTS

If you don’t create your own definition of success, you’ll be assigned one.

Personally, I don’t just want to be rich in money. I also want to be “rich” in time, self-awareness, purpose, health, and loving relationships.

My definition of success is closing the gap between who I am now, and what my true potential is.

Until next week,

Jade

P.S. If you’ve been considering becoming a thought leader, this is your sign to start. You could try to figure out what makes content go viral on LinkedIn over the next year. Or you could learn it all in a 1-hour coaching session with me. By following this system, I grew from 1,000 - 250,000 LinkedIn followers in less than 12 months (and 0 - 73,000 on Instagram in less than 6 months)! You can read tons of client reviews here. 🔥

P.P.S. Sending a warm welcome to everyone who joined The Quiet Rich community since last week! Learn more about The Quiet Rich here. 🎉