CONTEXT

Ever notice that different cities value totally different things?

Think about it:

• New York? Values money. You go to a party and overhear: “Are you getting promoted this year? How much do you think this apartment costs?”

• Los Angeles? Fame. You sit outside a cafe and hear, “How many followers does she have? What movie was he in?” 

• Washington DC? Power. “How close are you to the President? What senator do you know?”

• Las Vegas? Pleasure. “Did you see that concert? How late were you out? Are you going to F1?”

Here’s where it gets interesting.

On an individual level, we also value 1 of these 4 things (according to Aristotle).

Money, power, pleasure, or fame.

And that “1 thing” is different for everyone. But most of us are so focused on getting our 1 thing… that it leads to unhappiness.

Arthur C. Brooks was talking about this on a great episode of the Tim Ferriss Show. He called it the “four false idols.”

Arthur said, “If you know your idol, you’ll recognize the thing that always leads you astray and leads you to do the things that you later regret because you were following that idol.”

So let’s dig in. Here are 4 steps to uncover yours:

METHOD

Start by asking yourself:

1). Of those 4, what’s not your thing? There’s usually 1 that stands out to you as something you’re not obsessed with.

For me? It’s power.

“Jade Bonacolta for Congress?” Nope— definitely not chasing that.

—

2). Okay, you’ve got three left: money, pleasure, fame. You’ve got to kick one out. What’s the next one to go?

For me? It’s fame. “Fame” in Aristotle’s sense of the word meant “recognition” or “honor.” You’re seeking acknowledgement and prestige.

This one’s really tempting, but I’ve seen all the hidden costs of chasing external validation. Btw, here’s the best article I’ve ever read about 11 reasons to not become famous. (Spoiler: It’s dark.)

—

3). Now, you’re left with two.

For me, that leaves money and pleasure.

If I absolutely HAD to pick one to live without? Hmm. It’s money. (Seems ironic because I’m the founder of The Quiet Rich.)

But I couldn’t live without pleasure/joy.

Yes, money is important. It solves “money problems.” And that absolutely brings me happiness— but it’s not through buying stuff. Money brings me the most happiness when it buys me time or experiences. Which leads to the thing I actually am obsessed with…

—

4). Pleasure. That’s the 1 thing that drives most of my decisions. I will say ‘yes’ to any random idea for a scuba diving trip, ski adventure, interesting restaurant, etc. When I reflect in December each year, I’m mentally flipping through all the trips I took with people I love. That’s it. I judge my time by how many priceless, pleasing memories I was able to add to my list.

Seems fairly innocent, right? But here’s the important part. 👇

CLOSING THOUGHTS

After you identify your 1 thing, you have to ask:

• How does that thing get in your way?

• When you think about your regrets, how did that thing trip contribute?

• Did pursuing too much of it lead you to make a wrong move?

For pleasure specifically, here’s how Tim and Arthur described it: “Pleasure tends to be numbing. It numbs negative emotion.” So people might pursue pleasure instead of dealing with those negative feelings in a perhaps healthier way.

The point in uncovering your 1 thing is to enjoy that value in the healthiest dose possible. To bring you the most joy while avoiding the most regret.

Want to dive deeper? Listen to the full podcast episode.

Until next week,

Jade

P.S. Are you ready to become a thought leader? I’ll teach you exactly how I grew from 1k to ~550k followers across social media in 1.5 years. (And how I make money from it.) Learn more about my 3-month, private membership club for LinkedIn thought leaders at JoinArchimedes.com.

(Last month, we sold out of memberships in 2 days. But I’m opening up a few more spots from the waitlist THIS WEEK. Make sure you apply now, so you’re at the top of my list. It only takes 3 mins.)