“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” —Esther Perel

CONTEXT

Who do we spend the most time with in life? The answers might surprise you.

I recently came across some fascinating data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. They measured how much time Americans spend with other people over the course of 90 years.

There are 6 groups of people with whom we spend time. (But the proportions shift dramatically as we age.)

Here are 6 ways to minimize regret (and make the most of your 90 years).

THE 6 GRAPHS

1. TIME WITH PARENTS: This decreases sharply after the age 20.

Takeaways:

• Try to live close to the people you love. If you can’t, then try to cherish your moments together.

• When apart, call them and say all the things that you’ll wish you told them more.

Btw, this essay by Tim Urban is the most important article I’ve ever read. TL;DR: If you only see your parents once a year (and they’re in their 60s)... you might only see them 30 more times. Ever.

2. TIME WITH FRIENDS. Relatively, you get the least time with friends.

Takeaways:

• Choose your friends wisely. You can only keep a few.

• Make sure they bring out the best version of you.

3. TIME WITH COWORKERS. Between the ages of 20-56, your time with coworkers spikes tremendously. 

Takeaways:

• Don’t settle for a job you dislike. Try to “build a life that you don’t need a vacation from.”

• Set healthy boundaries with your time.

4. TIME WITH A PARTNER. This continually trends upward, peaking after age 58.

Takeaways:

• “Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

• Find the person who keeps bettering themselves and growing with you.

5. TIME WITH CHILDREN. This peaks while your kids are young, and then sharply declines.

Takeaways:

• Try to be present for those first 18 years. (You may regret it later if you’re not.)

• Whenever you feel frustrated with your kids, imagine a future when they’re grown and you don’t get to see them often. I call this the “Back-In-Time Method” and many of you said this post was the best thing I’ve ever written. (It’s a 3-step method that I do at least once a week.)

6. TIME ALONE. After 40, people spend an increasing amount of time alone.

Takeaways:

• No surprise— you’ll spend the most time during your life solo. This becomes especially true after age 40.

• Invest in self awareness and growth until you love your own company. Mindfulness helps with this btw. I wrote this LinkedIn post about 6 surprising forms of meditation (that don’t involve sitting cross-legged on the floor in silence.)

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Remember— these are just the average trends.

There’s nothing more powerful than realizing… you can change this graph at any moment.

My hot take: 20% of the people in your life bring you 80% of your happiness.

Ask yourself two things:

1). Who are they?

2). Can you spend more time with them this year?

When you look back at age 90, you’ll be so glad you did.

Until next week,

Jade

P.S. I can’t believe how quickly all my coaching spots in March booked up. 🥹 Thank you for trusting me. I can’t wait to meet with all of you in the coming weeks. If you’re considering becoming a thought leader on LinkedIn, book your coaching session now before all of April gets booked. You can read tons of client reviews here. 🔥

Also, I get asked all the time which newsletter tool I recommend. Hands down, Beehiiv. (Sign up with this link and you’ll get a special bonus.)

P.P.S. Sending a warm welcome to everyone who joined The Quiet Rich community since last week! Learn more about The Quiet Rich here. 🎉