RICH IN ETIQUETTE

[15 unwritten rules]

CONTEXT

Etiquette isn’t about knowing which fork to use or how to formally address a dignitary. It's about being considerate of others— and creating an atmosphere of ease and comfort in your interactions.

Everyone likes people with good etiquette.

It’s the silent language that speaks volumes about your character. (You can tell a lot about someone by the way they treat their servers or whether they return their shopping cart at the grocery store.)

But no one really teaches us this stuff.

So here are 15 essential tips across 1) travel etiquette, 2) social etiquette, and 3) business etiquette:

THE 15 RULES

1) Travel:

  • Always put headphones in before you listen to something on your phone (e.g., music, instagram reels, games, video chats).

  • If you’re first in the elevator, you’re the captain of the elevator. Hold the door, ask what floor they’re going to, give a polite smile.

  • Don’t block the way. Stand on the right side of the sidewalk or escalator so those in a hurry can easily pass by. (This is especially important in New York.)

  • Be mindful of those sitting next to you on a plane. Try not to bring bizarrely scented food. Don’t use the overhead light if everyone else turned theirs off. Keep your socks on. (I’m cool with shoes off on a long flight, but maybe we don’t need to see toes?)

  • Be nice to drivers. Always thank them for picking you up. Tip them for getting you safely from Point A to B.

2) Social:

  • Ask thoughtful questions. The most charismatic person in the room isn’t the most interesting. They’re the most interested— asking the kind of questions that make OTHERS feel interesting.

  • Don’t show up empty-handed. When you’re invited to someone’s house, bring a little something. A bouquet, a bottle of wine (if they drink), their favorite snack.

  • Keep your phone out of sight. Studies show that even if it’s face-down on the table, it still makes those around you feel like less of a priority.

  • Get there early. I always playfully compete with friends to be the first to the restaurant. Other notes on dinners with friends: When you’re pouring water for yourself, pour some for them first. Offer the last bite to everyone else before taking it. And assume you’ll split the bill evenly in a group situation.

  • Send a ‘thank you’ text. When you’re ready to leave someone’s event, try not to Irish exit. Take 3 minutes to say goodbye to the host; it makes a difference. If you can’t find them, send a quick text later that night with a specific compliment about the evening.

3) Business:

  • Meeting etiquette. No one likes meetings that could have been an email. Don’t add time to someone’s calendar without asking. And when you do send the invite, always include a detailed agenda.

  • Don’t interrupt. This sounds obvious— but it’s surprisingly easy to talk over someone when you’re really excited about an idea! Take a few moments to acknowledge what someone said before jumping in.

  • Learn local customs. Someone once told me that in Japan, you have to accept someone’s business card using both hands in order to show respect. Learn these local customs wherever you’re doing business.

  • If your friend is an entrepreneur, don’t ask for a discount. Support them by paying full price (and write a glowing review).

  • When someone’s introduced to you, repeat their name back to them (to remember it and make sure you’re pronouncing it right). For those you do business with often, take note of little details about them (e.g., their kid’s names, an upcoming holiday they planned, etc.). Ask about those things the next time you see them.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

What else would you add to this list? Reply back to me!

I’m always looking for ways to be more considerate of others. 😊

Until next week,

Jade

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